Don't Mess With a Digger
by Morninglight
Summary: Urdnot Wreav thinks he's entitled to Australia after helping save Earth from the Reapers. Colonel Regan Shepard demonstrates why it's a very bad idea.


Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! This one-shot was inspired by the comment Wreav makes about wanting Australia and a conversation me (as an Aussie) had with two other friends. Trigger warnings for death, violence and fantastic racism. Modified Destroy ending where Ashley's up and about.

…

"…The price of my assistance for Earth is… Australia."

Colonel Regan Shepard of the 2nd/14th Light Horse Regiment (Queensland Mounted Infantry), based out of Enoggera Barracks in Queensland, was repairing one of her guns when the big-arse krogan Wreav made his demand of Lieutenant Commander Ashley Williams, Humanity's First Spectre and Saviour of the Galaxy. Much to Regan's horror, the Spectre looked like she was seriously considering it. As in all things, the Alliance forgot about Australia until they needed the Diggers to save their arses _again._

Regan Shepard was the highest-ranking member of the Australian part of the Alliance forces left. They and the Kiwi forces had taken and held the beachheads necessary for the combined galactic navy to get the Crucible in place while the Canadians and the Poms led the charge (just behind Ashley Williams' squad) to arm the thing. Judging by the expressions of Canadian Major Kaidan Alenko, the New Zealanders' Major Ngaire Parata, and the British Major Coates, none of them were impressed by Wreav and Regan knew she had a hell of a lot of backup.

"Hey, Wreav – it's Wreav, right? – You ever study Terran military history?" she asked after picking up her SMG and loading it with Warp Ammo, the only thing that could shred a krogan short-range. Regan had made her name against the Reapers by using a sniper rifle and precision biotics, but she could use the SMG if she had to.

The krogan looked in her direction as Williams raised an eyebrow. "Can we help you?" the Spectre asked.

"I said, has your friend studied Terran military history?" Regan repeated, lips spreading in an expression that could never be called a smile.

"No, I haven't," Wreav replied before Williams could speak. "Why?"

"Colonel Regan Shepard of the 2nd/14th Light Horse Regiment, Queensland Mounted Infantry, Australian Army," the Colonel answered coolly. "Every beachhead established today was taken by the Australians and held by our New Zealander allies. Our other traditional allies, the Canadians and the British, led the charge to the Crucible. Do you want to know why the Reapers chose _London_ as their place to make a stand?"

"Why?" Wreav growled.

"Because we made it too fucking hard for them to hold Australia. We mostly live on the fringes of the coasts with only a few mining operations and towns in the middle. The Australian First Nations know their land like the back of their hands and so we were able to play hit and run with the Reapers because we could hide where they couldn't reach us."

Regan could hear Kaidan's quiet chuckle at Wreav's suddenly wary expression and reminded herself to catch up with him when the war was over. "Erwin Rommel, one of the greatest generals of the Second World War, once said: 'If I had to take hell, I would use the Australians to take it and the New Zealanders to hold it.' He also said," Regan looked to the Maori Ngaire with a smile, "'Give me two Maori battalions and I will conquer the world'."

"Erwin Rommel fought against us, you see, at the Battle of Tobruk and in northern Africa," Ngaire added, folding her muscular brown arms. "Australia and New Zealand give each other shit all the time, but when it comes to the crunch, we stand together."

"That's not to mention the fact that Australia has the most species of venomous snakes and spiders in the world," Kaidan pointed out in that lovely rasping voice of his.

"Krogan are immune to most poisons and toxins," Wreav growled. "And I've fought enemies who ran and hid before. If your Alliance agrees to this, you will be traitors and I will be able to execute you as I see fit."

"The Kokoda Trail. We were fighting the Japanese in World War 2 and they tried to come into Australia through Papua New Guinea," Regan continued, meeting the krogan's beady little eyes. "Inch by inch, it was soaked in blood. Inch by inch, we made the Japanese fight for it. And in the end, they didn't reach Australia."

"Australians are called 'Diggers' because once they dig in, they're like burrs in your arse, - well, that's my theory anyway," Major Coates added grimly. "Australians don't quit until you've killed every last one of them or the job is done. I'd rather have the Australians at my back as allies than as my enemy."

Wreav leaned down, snout almost touching Regan's nose, in an attempt to intimidate her. "Krogan destroyed the rachni. What do you think will happen to a few humans?"

Regan responded by head-butting him, grateful she was wearing her helmet. The visor still cracked and she picked up a bruise on her forehead, but Wreav staggered back – more from shock than actual damage. Then she used her SMG to put a few bullets in the krogan's knee-joints, effectively laming him, and finished by putting the rest of the magazine's worth of ammo into his chest.

"We'll fight dirty and make sure you're too hurt to hold Australia," she told the krogan as he struggled to rise, popping the SMG to put a new magazine in. "Feeling lucky, mate?"

Given that the red light of the SMG was pointed at Wreav's head, even the krogan could get the point of her question.

Wreav growled something, probably an obscenity, and managed to drag himself back to his krogan guard – who didn't look that impressed with him.

"Somehow I think there's going to be a change of leadership amongst the krogan," Kaidan murmured quietly as Williams turned her back on the aliens from Tuchanka to address Regan.

"Good job, Colonel," the Spectre said approvingly. "You and your friends said what I was going to, only much better."

She walked off, no doubt to oversee something and left the four standing there with a group of awed krogan staring at them. Finally, one of them – a bluish-grey one who looked a lot younger than the rest – stepped forth.

"Williams is my Battlemaster. If she respects you, you must be a Battlemaster at the least. My name is Urdnot Grunt."

"Colonel Regan Shepard, currently the highest-ranking military officer in the Australian Alliance forces," Regan responded, holstering her SMG with some relief. "My friends are Major Kaidan Alenko, commander of the Canadian Alliance forces; Major Ngaire Parata, commander of the New Zealand forces; and Major Coates, who still hasn't given me his first name, who now leads the British forces."

"John," Coates said mildly. "You never asked."

Grunt looked thoughtful. "You are all warlords then."

"Not exactly by choice, but yeah. Most of High Command was wiped out by the Reapers." Regan looked to her friends. "We lost the rest during the push for London. If anyone in the Commonwealth portion of the Alliance ranks us, then they're on the ships."

Grunt nodded. "I have no wish to fight against a warlord who made their territory too hard for the Reapers to hold."

The krogan stepped back and returned to his unit, calmly drawing his own SMG and riddling Wreav with bullets until the injured krogan breathed his last. "Does anyone object to me becoming Warlord of Clan Urdnot?"

Wisely, no one debated Grunt's right to lead and Regan breathed a sigh of relief. The krogan would stick to Tuchanka, she assumed.

"Stop standing around and let's get to work," she said to the others. "Just because the Reapers are done for doesn't mean the fun is over."

Until civilian government could be reinstated, the military was in charge, and that meant Regan had a metric shit tonne of work to oversee. _No rest for the wicked,_ she thought ruefully as Kaidan offered his arm half-flirtingly, half-mockingly. _No rest at all…_


End file.
